How is it possible this time is already here? College?? They were knee-high and playing with legos just a short time ago. But now Adam is a sophomore in high school, Andrew is a freshman, and Allie is just a bit behind. Next year, Adam will be starting a program called “running start” where he will take some courses at the local community college and receive both college credit and high school credit for them. These types of programs are becoming very popular nation-wide, and help save on some of the costs for basic general ed college courses. We (mainly I) are concerned about how we’ll be able to cover college costs for the three kids, especially when I continue to read reports of the average student debt at time of graduation being $31,200, and oftentimes much higher. If they choose to go into ministry, how will they pay this off? This is one of the biggest struggles mission agencies face today. Clearly times are much different than when I went to college and seminary, worked two jobs on the side, lived simply and was able to graduate with no debt.

But even beyond the financial issues, another issue looms as more significant in my mind. A friend of mine recently shared with me that 90% of young people who believe in Christ when they go into secular colleges walk away from him during their college years, largely due to the liberal agenda and anti-Christian messages they are fed from professors and others. Now, my theology guides me to trust our faithful God, and that He will bring these wandering sheep back to himself. At the same time, the reality is that going to a secular university nowadays means you will be persecuted and attacked for your faith in Christ and conservative moral stand. How can I best prepare my kids for what they will face?

In a recent discussion with a university professor friend of mine, he shared that the students who most often turn from God due to challenges they face in the university are those who always received “pat answers” and very strict, rigid guidelines growing up. They were not challenged to think for themselves, to exercise their “spiritual muscles,” to wrestle with difficult issues on their own. Instead, well-meaning parents quickly supplied them with “the right answers” and did the thinking for them. He encouraged me to allow our kids to go through the uncomfortable process of not knowing what the “answers” are for challenges they will face, of having to wrestle through doubts and uncertainties and to learn how to deal with those. Young people nowadays need to learn how to think for themselves instead of being told what to think. They need to learn how to express questions they have, but in a safe environment of the home where they can be affirmed and then gently guided in how to get answers to those questions. It is a tenuous balance that I certainly don’t have figured out, cause everything in me wants to supply the answers, the advice, the exact path my “precious cherubs” need to follow. Yet I see the wisdom that this could do them more harm than good. God loves them more than I possibly ever could and is committed to their best. This will be a faith-stretching time for me as well as them, but God’s grace is sufficient to guide us all through the process.

Praying fervently for my kids as I trust in the sovereign grace of God, Eric