This past week, several of my colleagues and I joined a thousand other pastors and leaders here in Dar to view a video simulcast of the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. Although it was clear that some of the sessions were from previous years, such as Patrick Lencioni’s “Five Dysfunctions of a Team” from 2003, yet there were valuable principles shared in the two-day very reasonably priced seminar. I’ll highlight a few of my favorite here:
Dr. Henry Cloud shared about three groups of people – specifically in how people handle criticism and feedback.
- There are the “wise” who adjust their live and values with presented with the truth. When criticized, they work to become wiser still. They appreciate honest feedback, even if it hurts.
- There are the “fools” who may be smart and gifted, but when confronted they try to “adjust the truth” instead of adjusting to the truth. They minimize and externalize their mistakes and oftentimes “shoot the messenger.” With these people, we must stop talking with them about the issue, and start talking with them about their inability to talk about their issues. The good news is that fools can become wise, if they are willing to listen and change.
- Then there is the category Cloud calls the “evil,” who are bent on destruction and pain, and they must be avoided or stopped.
Historian John Dickson taught about Humility, and how the roots of humility actually began with Christ, especially focused at the cross. This was the pinnacle moment in history where values were turned upside down, where the striving for greatness was through humble service, where the lowly was exalted and the proud brought down. Even non-Christians acknowledge that Christ changed the culture for all time, to now where we value and appreciate those who are humble, and the egocentric proud person we avoid.
Probably my favorite session was by Andy Stanley on Focused Leadershp, but basically he reviewed material from his book, “Choosing to Cheat.”
The greatest leadership decision Stanley ever made, he says, was when he realized that either the church (his ministry) or his family would be cheated – would not get from him all that they deserved. Which would it be? He chose to cheat the church rather than his family, and has never regretted it. Why? He had to overcome the fear that “If I don’t build the church, then it won’t grow.” The reality which hit him is that Christ never called him to build the church. Jesus says in Matt. 16 that HE will build the Church. BUT we are called to love our wife, our family, as Christ loved the church. I am the only husband and father my wife and kids have, and I must not compromise in this role. We are not told to love the church, but to love our family.
Many things happened when Stanley made this commitment, which was not always easy to keep. But priorities came into focus, walking away from ministry became an easier decision, margin came back into his life, and the church actually became healthier – healthier staff, healthier members, healthier values. So assuming there’s not enough time to get everything done I’d like to, who is getting cheated in my life? Don’t let fear of “what might happen if…” consume me. Christ will do a fine job building his church, whether I’m spending 45 hrs/week at church or much more, but my family NEEDS me to be fully engaged at home.
It was a valuable time with friends as I met MANY pastors and we discussed leadership principles and how to grow the church in Africa. Hopefully each of us will keep moving up the learning curve in our life and leadership skills. By God’s grace may He keep us on course. Pressing on, Eric